Kristin Cavallari Reveals Why She ‘Walked Away’ from Jay Cutler: ‘My Heart Broke in My Marriage’

The ‘Laguna Beach’ alum said that now, four years after their divorce, she and Cutler “are in the best place that we’ve been in”

Kristin Cavallari attends the Uncommon James SS20 Launch Party (left); Jay Cutler attends the JDRF LA 2015 Imagine Gala at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 9, 2015 (right). Photo: Tibrina Hobson/Getty; Todd Williamson/Getty

Kristin Cavallari is opening up about the end of her marriage to Jay Cutler.

On the Oct. 22 episode of Laguna Beach alum’s podcast Let’s Be Honest, she reflected on her love life — and her breakups, in particular — and her 2020 divorce from Cutler was one of the main touch points of the episode, which inadvertently aired days after Cutler was arrested in Tennessee.

Cavallari, 37, started the episode with a brief message about her ex’s arrest — he was arrested on charges of DUI and illegal possession of a gun while intoxicated on Oct. 18 — as she clarified that she’d recorded it “before a very public incident happened last week with my ex-husband.”

She said she “will not be commenting on what happened,” but noted, “I do, of course, wish Jay nothing but the best and I do hope that he gets the help that he needs.”

Later in the episode, Cavallari expanded on her split from the retired NFL player, 41, who she married in 2013 and shares three kids with.

“My heart broke in my marriage. Even though I’m the one that walked away, it was not what I wanted. It was not what I had envisioned,” she said. “And I really tried f—ing everything I could. It’s just heartbreaking when you want something so badly but you just can’t get there. And I would say my heart was broken for years in my marriage — I mean it was.”

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler attend the JDRF LA 2015 Imagine Gala at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 9, 2015 in Century City, California. Todd Williamson/Getty

“I’m not talking s— about Jay at all. I’m really not,” she said as she acknowledged that in the past she’s “publicly said some things” about their relationship “and now I don’t really talk about him at all.”

“But I will say, we are in the best place that we’ve been in. And it’s been four and a half years,” she continued. “It took four years. But things are really good with us now. So much so that we even sat together at one of Camden’s basketball games recently, and that makes me so happy, because honestly, I never thought that we would get there. I really didn’t.”

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler with their kids Camden, Jaxon, and Saylor on Halloween.Kristin Cavallari Instagram

She used the reparations that she and Cutler have made as an example to listeners who might also be struggling with an ex or co-parenting. “And if I tell you that Jay and I can get there, anyone can get there,” she said. “Take my word on that. I wish I could give you guys all the stories, but I can’t. Just trust me on that.”

Cavallari rarely shares insights into her relationship with Cutler — both as a co-parent and as an ex — so the reflections in the podcast episode were a rarity.

It’s unsurprising, though, that she is thinking about breakups as she is fresh off one. In September, PEOPLE confirmed that she had split from her boyfriend of seven months, Montana Boyz star Mark Estes.

Kristin Cavallari and Mark Estes.Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

She said on a podcast episode that she initiated the breakup “because I just know long-term it’s not right, and it’s not because of love lost or something bad happened.”

“He’s been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I just know long-term he needs to experience life, he’s young,” she said, referring to the 13-year age gap between them. “I started to feel the age a little bit with life experience.”

A source told PEOPLE that the age difference — Estes is 24 — “played a factor, but there’s no drama” and they were “heading in different directions.”

Cutler, meanwhile, has been linked to Samantha Robertson since last year. The pair have not publicly commented on their relationship, but went Instagram official in September 2023.